The day after the presidential election, everyone I came across had some kind of strong, indescribable reaction to the results. I was always taught to avoid discussing politics, sports, and religion—whether at work or at home. In other words, keep it to yourself at all times!
Most of the time, I keep my opinions to myself, but sometimes a trigger pushes me to take on a challenge. It usually happens when someone makes an argument that just doesn’t make sense. I know that by the end of the conversation, I could lose a friend because my beliefs are as strong and unwavering as a strand of kinky hair.
I do my best to dig deep and identify the interests of other people’s perspectives. It’s easy to realize that everybody has a different preference on what they believe is wrong or right. My belief comes from my experience, my background, my challenges that I have faced, my wins, and my losses.
I have strong convictions and a clear way of thinking. I don’t enjoy causing conflict over someone’s opinion, but sometimes those opinions need a reality check. I’ve realized that I’m most compelled to engage in a debate when people state opinions without any factual evidence to back them up.
I get really uncomfortable with people who only talk about the presidency during election season. They often lack any real understanding or reasoning to back up their arguments about government policies.
Fallacies are still a big issue when talking to people—pay attention to how they speak without thinking. There’s no point in arguing with someone who relies on emotions instead of logic, and when the conversation gets heated, they resort to personal attacks. In college, I learned that I won’t win every argument, but it’s crucial to stay aware of ad hominem attacks and not let them derail the discussion.
How to determine if the conversation is going sideways? When you notice the conversation shifting away from the original topic or moving toward a more confrontational tone, it’s a sign that the direction has changed. You can pretend to be uninformed on the topic, or you can redirect the conversation back to the point. When someone you’re debating starts to attack your character, it’s hard to stay calm because it’s clear they have no valid argument to stand on.
Let’s be clear: I’m a proud African American who grew up on the east side of Los Angeles, California, and I’m a passionate advocate for Black culture. I embody what it means to be pro-Black, but my version of pro-Black might differ from yours. This is where opinions can clash, as each person’s beliefs are shaped by their own experiences and perspectives. We’re all diverse in some way—none of us are exactly the same—but we can still unite in the fight for fairness.
The most recent heated conversation I had was with a friend of the same race, who argued that white cops are killing more Black boys than Black boys are killing each other. Let that sink in for a moment. The debate started with the outcome of the presidential election. She believes that having a white president would lead to an increase in Black males being shot by white cops.
This is a false cause, because there are more Black-on-Black killings than there are white cops killing Blacks. I know this is a sensitive and emotional topic, and I deeply sympathize with the victims and their families. I say this not just as a statement, but from personal experience—my own Black uncle was killed by a white cop. That pain is real for me, and it makes me mindful of how I approach these discussions.
As a black culture, we have a more serious situation upon us. If we’re going to address violence against blacks, I think we should start within our inner circle. We need to practice what we preach. If we talk about racism, we can’t let our actions reflect hatred toward people of different skin colors. How can you say having a white man as a president will open more cop killings toward black people when our actual problem is specifically black people? I could debate this for hours, days, months, or even years.
As the executive director and founder of a youth service organization serving the Black community – Greenspoint district in Houston Texas, I see firsthand that, on average, the education level is below the tenth grade, while violence continues to rise—shootouts, fights, robberies, and all kinds of destructive behaviors that tear us down instead of building us up. How can we blame the president, other races, or external circumstances for our own impulsive behavior and poor choices?
I won’t let anyone use irrational arguments to distract from the real issues in our culture or manipulate us into making excuses for why we can’t move forward. The facts are clear: police killings against blacks do not occur more frequently than black-on-black killings. I completely understand why I felt triggered. When you’re passionate about something—especially something as personal as your culture and the mission of your nonprofit organization—it’s hard to stay quiet when you feel attacked or misunderstood.
Standing up not only for your own beliefs but also for your community is incredibly powerful. The work of fighting poverty and crime in underserved, predominantly Black inner-city neighborhoods is essential—it’s about providing the tools to break the cycle. I know why my friend is debating the impact of Donald Trump being president; it’s a complex issue with far-reaching consequences for our communities.
From my experience, the biggest challenge is helping Black communities recognize that we need to take responsibility for the issues we face. We can’t keep blaming external factors—we are part of the problem, and it’s up to us to find the solution to break free from the turmoil. Even if we remove the president from the equation, we’ll still be left with a culture in decline if we don’t make changes from within.